I don’t have the heart to try. Sharks are coming, there was flying, there was pie, let’s just stipulate for the record that the results would be unfavorable and move on from there. Tune in next week for your regularly-scheduled weigh-in.
As I already said, Thanksgiving was just too wonderful to even express. But I want to still fit into my jeans later this month so I need to get back on my grind a bit. Does this mean I will log back on to MyFitnessPal? [thinks about it] NOPE. I just can’t get too interested in logging. I think I just don’t want to anymore. I’m just gonna try to focus on staying Paleo and maybe eating more greens and less squash. I took sweatforit’s advice and got myself some tea with dandelion root in it to detox and de-puff myself a bit. It’s surprisingly tasty tea, actually. It’s Yogi Tea, DeTox flavor. “Supports Healthy Liver and Kidney Function,” it says here. Well, we’ll see.
My daughter took possession of my fave jeans from Chico’s. There’s something not quite right about a girl of her young age wearing anything from Chico’s, that bastion of suburban-mom-wear. But they look great on her and I know, of course, how comfortable they are. So the upshot is, I bought myself more jeans Saturday evening (amusing myself while my husband was at a HeroClix event) and I tried to pick them with an eye to things my daughter might like to steal from me. JCPenney’s had an excellent selection of petite jeans but pretty much all of them were rather low-cut for my taste. I bought some anyway. They are comfy but there is a loaf situation around my midsection that I am not totally okay with. Hopefully my daughter will take the bait; her tummy is nice and flat and she looks great in low-cut jeans.
I will just take a moment now to say, WOW, the insanity of sizing in women’s clothing is really annoying. I see why it drives some ladies into a frothing rage. I have jeans in my closet in size 2, but those were “short” rather than “petite.” In petites at JCP, I ranged from a 4 up to a 10. Over at Land’s End they were having a sale on shirts (OH YEAH) and I was a small in one style but an extra-small in a different style. How can I ever order from their damn catalog again, now I see that I have no real idea what my size is anymore? And don’t tell me to take my measurements, either. Obviously my measurements did not change appreciably in between trying on 2 different styles of shirt, now, did they? And yet… there it is. Anyway. I had no trouble finding some nice things to buy, so I feel happy and very thankful. But the sizing thing… annoying.
I was feeling all “wahhh my ‘hood is lame ‘cause I got nowhere to buy purple Okinawan sweet potatoes around here,” and then I smacked myself awake and used my magic Google fingers to find some Asian markets I had not ever visited before, mere minutes away from my house.
And I found a great one. It’s in a really sketchy parking lot and looks completely raggedy and run-down. But as soon as you get in your eyes are filled with the awesomeness of a really serious produce section, and YES they have my new love, the purple pearl, in addition to such wonders as 8 different kinds of eggplant, whole jackfruit, immense yams — not sweet potatoes, no, these are the real, massively large tubers — and some great deals on melons, too. And cut-up mango sprinkled with cayenne pepper — very Ayurvedic! Of course as you already saw in my earlier post, there’s a very extensive meat section which includes a whole lot of really gnarly bits. (Although, sadly, I did not see UTERUS anywhere. But then there were multiple types of tripe, multiple varieties of tongue… ears… and of course, BUNG.
I should go back there and buy some bung, shouldn’t I? Anybody out there have any ideas how to cook me some bung? I’m thinking smothered in a nice spicy curry would be a good plan.
BTW, does anybody know how to cook an actual yam? Do I need a machete to hack that shit up or what?
Went shopping this afternoon. Tried on a bunch of stuff and was amazed at how small I am all over again. I’m guessing this stage of astonishment will go on for a good while yet. Maybe forever. No, I guess it will become old hat eventually… but not this year, I bet.
I bought something every yogini apparently must own: a pair of very small shorts for doing sweaty summer-time yoga, the kind with the little drawstrings on the seam so you can shorten up the legs and look even cuter. Size XS from Gap, y’all! Heck yeah! I promise to have my husband take some pics of me in these booty shorts next week. Tumblr surely wants to see another girl in booty shorts doing yoga!
I’ll probably put the shorts to good use this weekend. I’m going on a yoga retreat with my YTT class tomorrow and Sunday. Two whole days of vegetarian food, hours of yoga (in a yurt, of course) interspersed with nature walks, chanting, meditation and, no doubt, weeping on the mat as I have yet another yoga-induced emotional release. (I have had so many of these already that I am quite used to it by now.) Of course, rebel that I am, I shall be bringing packets of beef jerky with me, and also a large bag of pork rinds. I can’t go 2 days without dead animal flesh!
And as an antidote to all the seriousness lately, I picked up a book at the library. It’s a very emo romance about a lady of the Italian Renaissance period who gets forced into marriage… with a Were-Lion. I could not make this up if I tried, folks!
So here I am in my new OOTD from Ann Taylor LOFT: size Small black T-shirt (there is literally nothing as slimming, is there?) and size 4 denim skirt.
Also pictured: smooth hair from the hair salon. Enjoy that while it lasts because I never blow my hair out at home. The shoes are from Chaco and I love them to pieces. So comfortable. The mysterious poster behind me is an art project for yoga teacher training, depicting the 5 Koshas, the Chakras, a couple Nadis, the Doshas and the Gunas.
Here I am in size 4 shorts, also from LOFT:
It’s quite gratifying how this photo completely conceals my slightly jiggly inner thigh area! I feel that I ought to do a photo post about the reality of my thighs. Anyway, there it is, folks. I’m a smaller size than I ever even dreamed I could be now. I’m the same size as my mom, I think. And yet, I do still have an ass and a flubbery belly and thighs and the sad remains of bat-wings on my arms. This is reality. However, on the amazing success front, I will say that the whole neck/collarbone area really looks good! How about that?!
My stupid olde-schoole Blackberry was acting up something fierce, so I took it back to Sprint to see if they could fix it up on the cheap. They could, boo-yah, but it was gonna take a couple hours. So I went over to Nando’s Peri-Peri and had some insanely tasty chicken livers and butternut squash. And then of course I still had some time to waste so naturally I went shopping.
At CitySports, I picked up a sweet pair of yoga knickers. Guess what size? XS. Yep and they fit great. So I floated out of there like angels were bearing me upon their wings and ran straight over to LOFT, where I got several excellent pairs of shorts for summer. Guess what size? Size 4. Weirdest thing of all: as I stood in the mirror looking at my legs and stuff in these shorts, I realized that I could see a sliver of daylight at the apex of my legs. The thighs were still touching. But between the tops of the thighs and the actual crotch, I could see light shining through. It was a tiny little thigh gap.
I don’t even know who I am anymore!!
It’s particularly funny coming after 2 straight weeks of irritating weight gain. It seems I’ve entered that interesting zone where a person can be gaining weight and losing inches at the same time. I really don’t know what to think! I’m still annoyed about the weight gain and I still want to get down to 130 just on principle. But on the other hand, I am wearing a size 4 now… so maybe IDGAF what I weigh. I just don’t even know anymore. I feel thrilled and sort of weird all at the same time.
And I can’t even really call a girlfriend to chat about it because really almost nobody I know can understand at all. I only have one friend who’s lost significant amounts of weight, but she’s in a bad place and gaining right now so I don’t want to be all LA LA LA I AM SO THIN right up in her face. That wouldn’t be kind. I’m grateful you guys are out there to receive this post.
Can anybody out there relate?
Got to see the Avengers movie in 3D IMAX with my honey. I love beefcake!! And now I love Mark Ruffalo.
And then when I came home, my new pants from Lululemon had arrived and they are awesomely comfortable. It’s like angels are gently caressing my thighs. But not in a dirty way. LOL! Anyway, I love them so much and I never want to take them off… a conundrum since I actually got 2 pairs and love them both equally.
Bliss is… silky-soft pants that somehow still allow my foot to stay planted properly for Tree pose.
Oh and I almost forgot the awesome-est part of all. The pants? Are size 6.
The long-awaited racerback bras arrived in the mail yesterday afternoon, and they fit. Actually they are even a smidge big. But I can’t be arsed to return them and fool around with trying to fit myself to a new bra size over long distance right now. I’m taking my new bras out shopping. This afternoon, I think.
In some ways, these new bras represent one of the last pieces of the puzzle for me. Now that I have a couple of these bras, I can try on and maybe even buy some of the pretty yoga tops that every other yogini in the country seems to own. So to me, these bras represent a chance to blend into the crowd, to be more like everyone else I admire. I’ve spent quite a lot of energy over my adult life working at blending in better and I have to say I’ve never been sorry about that. It’s been well worth it for me. I’ve learned that I can be funny, quirky and even a bit eccentric without having to feel isolated, alienated or alone. I’ve learned that this is possible when one puts a bit of effort into controlling the message via the medium of self-presentation. And in this new life that I’m designing for myself, racerback bras are part of the necessary equipment. So I am super-stoked to have a couple!
In other news, I am not doing a good job of keeping up with Tumblr at all. So if I have missed a sweet post of yours, I apologize. I’ve been face-down in my YTT homework. This week we are studying the classically hippy-dippy topics of prana, the koshas, the gunas and the doshas, and of course the chakras and the nadis. It’s a lot of information to take in! Although it’s so far-out that I feel as if I should put air quotes around the word “information.”
LOL, no change from last week yet again. I had tried reducing my calories somewhat just to see… but no. Nothing. Plateau fun time is NOT over at all. Oh, body, why? Now I must look into IF and think about going down that road. I was sooooo hoping to avoid that. ‘Cause I love eating. But I really feel a strong urge to lose a couple more pounds rather than just give up. So IF it is, dudes. I will not be defeated.
In other news, I found a racerback bra in my size and ordered it! It should be here soon and if it really fits I shall enter a whole new world of shopping delight. Also I ordered some sassy new knicker-length workout pants to get me through the Summer heat.
Also, I got myself another pair of VFFs. These are the Speed model in purple, my fave shade. I discovered a funny feature of VFFs: the light, thin fabric top means that they are completely permeable to rain, so your feet get wet very fast. But the solid vibram bottom means that the water doesn’t fall out… so within seconds your foot is squishing in a little puddle inside your shoe. LOL!!
And my last random thing: a good friend tells me that I would enjoy doing P90X. What do you say, Tumblr? Should I dive into the Valley of the Superman Bananas and do it?
I’ve been in FL attending Passover at my in-laws. I basically spent the past few days eating wheat, sugar, legumes and even a bit of dairy. AGH. I was lucky enough to not get a massive stomach-ache, but my face is broken out like the surface of the damn Moon. Dietary highlights included: some intensely fiery fresh horseradish that was truly great and some savory, tender beef tongue in an apricot sauce which I hope to make myself sometime pretty soon. Damn but that was tasty. But matzah, echhhh.
But on the plus side: we went to the mall to get some shorts for my daughter and there I discovered that I now wear a size 6 in jeans and shorts. Yeah, you heard right, bitches!! The former fat chick now wears a size 6! Also, I need to order new bras because several of my old bras no longer really fit. The molded foam cups, no longer really filled by my breast tissue, are collapsing on the top which makes my boobs look sort of angular and not at all sexy. So, plateau or no plateau, clearly my body is continuing to change. Very interesting and very pleasing.
And also this: I wore my new two-piece bathing suit to the pool in FL and discovered that a two-piece does not contain and stabilize the flesh of the abdomen the way a one-piece does. So when I would get in the water, the loose flesh of my tummy would gently float up and sort of flooble around, weightlessly waving in the currents. A very odd feeling. The whole time I was swimming I could not stop touching my stomach and feeling the soft, floating, floppiness. My children were also disturbingly interested in it, LOL. But hey, the headline here is, I went out in public in a bikini! In front of people and everything! And it was perfectly normal. How about that?
138.5 again. Still adrift in the Sea of Plateau. But today, I’ve officially passed from frustrated over into a state of amusement. Because it’s shark week. And because seriously, you have no notion how much food I ate this week. I mean, Friday I ate over 2200 calories. There was a lot of guacamole there. And for a snack: pork rinds. I am not even joking. They are the Cheetos of the Paleo world, it seems. There were a couple of 1900-calorie days and I definitely wasn’t under 1600 any day. (and there were multiple pork rinds moments. They are so yummy.) Also I had a really tough time staying under the Mark Sisson-recommended 100 grams of carbs per day, eating up to 176 grams of carbs on one day. (Hello, Larabar I ate in an unsuccessful attempt to eat all the calories I was supposed to.) I’m contemplating relaxing that rule just because it seems quite stupid to find myself saying, oh no, I can’t have any more Swiss Chard because I’m out of carbs. I mean, that is ridiculous. Am I wrong? I mean, supposedly if I eat more than 100 grams of carbs I won’t lose weight. But before I was Paleo, I ate more than a 100 grams of carbs every day and I still lost weight. But since I’ve been eating 100 grams or less… my weight loss has stalled out. Now, I don’t know that those things are necessarily related. But it does tell me that eating super-low-carb is not a panacea of magic weight loss. It tells me that other factors must be involved.
For a good while this plateau really scared me a bit, because I have been quite frightened of gaining a lot of weight and sort of magically destroying all my progress. But I’m slowly realizing that my body is way more resilient and cunning and resourceful and even magical than I had ever realized. Look how my body has responded to all my bullying! It’s so stubborn! So strong. I don’t think I really need to be too worried about any sudden changes occurring. I mean, what’s it been? 2 and a half months with no change? It turns out that I’m NOT going to wake up and be 214 lbs again overnight. I can’t even manage to gain 1 lb during shark week, it turns out.
So what’s next? I guess I’ll just keep soldiering on this week. On Wednesday we are going down to FL to celebrate Passover with my in-laws. There, I will be unable to avoid consuming a small amount of wheat. I hope I don’t get a tummy ache. There may be some sugar, as well. I don’t think I have the strength to say no to Mom’s lemon pudding dessert which is seriously dreamed of all year long by the entire family. So who knows? I may gain weight this week what with flying and food and general crazy. Oh, and I won’t be home on Monday, so I won’t do a Monday Morning Weigh In next week, either. It’ll have to wait until the next Monday, I think. SUSPENSE!!
And now, my amazing NSV: I went shopping for new tanks and t-shirts since it’s nearly Summer. And I came home with cute tanks from Eddie Bauer and wonderful t-shirts and featherweight cardigans from J. Crew… in size small.
Yeah. That’s right! SMALL! I’m small, you guys. Me. The hugest member of my family, the one who sticks out in photos, the one with big arms like hams… today, I’m small. So I’ve been pretty much basking in the glow of the smallness for the past few days. Plateau or no plateau, whatever. I’ve got new shirts and they are small. OH YEAH.
And on that happy note, I’m going out now to try a little running in my VFFs. Anybody out there have an opinion about the carbs, leave me answer here, okay?
LOOK!! LOOK!! I have new Vibram FiveFingers!!!
My dividend from REI came, and as expected it was a generous one this time. So I rushed over to REI to spend it and came home with these fabulous Bikila LS VFFs. They are so comfy!! Like slippers that hug my whole foot and each of my little toesies.
And I went out for a nice walk with my daughter yesterday evening and we went a couple of miles around the neighborhood. It felt great! But my left foot is clearly weaker than my right, because after a couple miles it started to feel a bit tired around the toes. Feels fine this morning, though, so I’ll take them out for another spin after I get my son on the bus.
It must be time for a GPOY. Oddly, my new laptop’s webcam just flipped the photo automatically. I dunno what that is about. ANYWAY. This drape-neck top I have on is a new yoga top from Lole and despite its deceptively loose fit, it was excellent for practice, staying where it should throughout all sorts of twists and backbends and whatnot. Also this pic does not really show how it makes me look all slim and fabulous. So WIN. But hey, I am loving how much of my arm flab is gone. Those things used to look like a couple of Christmas hams.
Also I have no pic of my other huge win of the day: the chicken soup from Paleo Comfort Food. I made a huge pot of it and all I have left now is a mid-sized tupperware. My son ate about 4 or 5 bowls of it, no joke. I never even imagined what a success this soup would be since in the past I have not had much luck with soup. Apparently if I deprive my children of grains long enough they will indeed start to eat actual food! Amazing.
I remember the day I bought these jeans. They are size 10. I had never been below a size 12, and so to be able to slip into a pair of 10s was simply astounding. I’ll never forget the sheer joy I felt that day. For the first time, I suddenly felt that I could do anything - could achieve anything that I wanted. I felt as if the whole world was blooming open to me. I smiled the whole damn day. Just because of these jeans!
But today, I slid into these jeans and I realized: they’re actually too big now. Like roomy in the waist, baggy in the legs and butt, too big. And I realized another thing: when I shop for new pants in the Fall, I’ll probably be a size 6. How about that?
So I had the Satanic Fudge Nut Crunch for my breakfast, 666 calories of creamy goodness. It was amazingly delicious! I’m thinking next time, maybe put in even more walnuts for more deliciousness.
But I’m not so sure there will be a next time for me. Less than 10 minutes after I ate that yummy bowlful, I was in the bathroom. And I had to pretty much run there. And I had to change my undies afterward, if you catch my drift. What I’m saying is, my stomach was surprised by the big influx of sugar, and not in a good way. It wasn’t too bad — not like having a stomach bug — but it was definitely not a happy tummy down there. It’s funny to experience this. The whole recipe only called for 3/4 cup of maple syrup. Split between 4 servings, that’s less than a 1/4 cup of maple syrup each. I can easily recall putting away lots more than that while eating pancakes. But I just can’t do it anymore, apparently. I can only imagine how poorly the actual pancakes would be received!
I’m glad to know I can provide this tasty treat for my family to enjoy. But I don’t think I’ll try to eat a whole serving of it ever again. I don’t want to have to buy a bunch of new undies! Although… Bloomingdale’s at our local mall is closing… maybe I should hop over there and score some this week. I need them anyway. My old underwear has been with me throughout my whole WLJ and as you might imagine, it’s no longer sleek and flattering at this point. LOL! Opinions: hipster briefs, boy-cut shorts or ass-revealers?
That design is not flattering for anyone.
Sorry darlin! Perhaps they need to make a line for ladies blessed with such bounty.
VERY unflattering. But heylook, tits!
@srcdoeslife — if only you were right. But apparently these designs are flattering on fuckin’ every woman except me. Because, oh sweet ironies of life, I have too much fabulousness going on upstairs. Why, Lord?
@queenbliss — I KNOW!! WHY DO THEY NOT DO THIS? And almost every yoga top out there is made in the racerback style… which I cannot wear as I do not own a racerback bra… which I do not own because they do not exist in my size. I have looked extensively. No luck. And also most yoga tops have these hilarious built-in soft bra things which, seriously, they do not do anything at all to keep my girls up. They literally just sort of ooze out the bottom there, creating an unfortunate 4-boob effect. The Zobha top was especially bad because in addition to the ineffective soft bra thing, it had these little soft bra-cup-things sewn in, which gave the appearance of being like tiny clown hats on my boobs. Very sexy, no? All I want is to do yoga in a top which does not fall off during inversions and which does not let my puppies leap out the top during Down Dog. Is that so much to ask? And I realize that it’s shallow and lame, yet still, I would like to look cute while I do these things… SIGH.
@wannakickit — LOL for sure. I could probably lose an easy 10 lbs if I got surgery. But that’d be like $1000/lb. I still figure I’d do better to spend that dough on grass-fed filet mignon.
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