Potential Milestone Moment
Last night as we were showering and brushing our teeth, my husband turned to me and said, “I think I want to start working out. I realized I’m fat. I’m tired of being afraid of having a heart attack.”
Seriously, it took all the self-control I had to not just start leaping around the bathroom shouting with joy. (A naked middle-aged lady should not be leaping. Just sayin’.) ANYWAY.
So I fixed him up with my trainer. They are meeting at 3:00 today. Good golly!! I’ve waited so long for this to happen. I hope they develop a bromance and work out together like demons. Please, Universe, let it happen.
Holiday Fun
Tomorrow we will arise bright and early and drive up to NY in the midst of snow and rain - what fun - to have Seder with my dh’s sister & her family & their parents as well. As I remarked to cookingcaveman earlier, I am expecting a spread of sticky brown wheat-based food-like substances. My MIL is a pretty good cook, but she’s not the hostess this time. My sister-in-law and her husband are hosting, and they are … only okay in the kitchen. When we attended her youngest’s Bar Mitzvah last year, the only thing on the spread that even approached edibility was some hideously over-seasoned deli meat. So I’ll be packing some nosh for myself, for sure. The things we do for family, man.
After work today, I am attending one of those merchandise parties. Like Tupperware, or Pampered Chef? Only this time it is sex toys. Apparently this is what happens when your husband’s friend’s wife goes through a hilarious midlife crisis and has too much time on her hands.
And I was all, I dunno if I really wanna go to this thing cuz it seems kinda weird, and my husband said [Barry White voice] Here baby, take my credit card. And while you’re there, sweetie, why don’t you check out the soft restraints?
Jahshdheheyxvhxushsksbdbdjcgzhdhrrh.
One of the awesome gifts I received today.
If you’re like me, you set at least a few New Years Resolutions each year in early January, work hard the first few months (or weeks) and then let them fizzle. Once December comes around you remember what you had planned and feel lame that you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do… Not this year!
When I completed my first Whole30 in October this fall I knew it would only be my first and that I wanted to do another in January. Along with going through another Whole30 I want to continue for all of 2013 eating and living the paleo way.
If you are sick of being sick, feeling crappy, bloated, not sleeping well, lacking energy, desperately fighting to lose those last stubborn pounds then join me!
If you aren’t 100% sure about this yet then check out these Personal Testimonials for nearly every life-changing result that has happened to someone or COULD happen to YOU.
On a side note I will be writing up some super fun, picture filled posts on my vacation to Florida earlier this week! Stay tuned.
- The Freckled Foodie
I’ll be whole30ing in January FO SHIZZLE!
We’re gonna do a Whole30 in the New Year as well. It’s more for my husband than for me. He had asked me to help him get his weight-loss situation back on track. So I was trying out different approaches with him, and I started out with what worked for me: making small changes on an incremental basis. Guess what? FAIL. It was like the small changes couldn’t find any purchase on the smooth, impermeable surface of his long-ingrained bad habits of unconscious behavior. So once again, my husband turns out to be completely different from me. I should have expected it, really. He and I are hilariously different, except in one area: we are both big over-thinkers. (But not about the same sorts of things, naturally. For example, he’d never spend hundreds of hours obsessively focusing on things like what squash is the best this season.)
So the upshot is, if small changes are a fail, next thing to try is huge changes. So, Whole30 it shall be. Starting right after the New Year. Since he’s nothing like me, sadly, there’s little or no chance he’ll read the book or even visit the doggone website. I figure I’ll just write the rules out on an index card and make him stick it in his wallet. Oooh, better yet, I can just text them to him.
I dunno. We’ve done so much yummy baking lately, and I know that such items are not truly Whole30-approved. So I suppose I might have to give it a rest for a month. OTOH my beloved banana-pudding breakfast is completely free of sweeteners and is completely Paleo… so there’s that.
SIGH. What I want for my sweetie is for him to be more in control of his food-life, since I believe that adults ought to be in charge of their own plates. But somehow the ship keeps steering the opposite way, over toward the archipelago of Mommy-Is-In-Charge-Of-Me. I can’t figure out if I need to combat this problem first, or if it is okay to just focus on results first and handle the weird life-organization issue later, or if in fact the life-organization issue is actually sabotaging the whole situation.
Why does every single post I write go into TL;DR territory? When a person has the mindset that someone else is in charge, then they can easily get into a place where it’s almost like a game to find ways to skirt the rules somehow. It’s a way of passively resisting someone else’s control - even when they actually chose to be controlled in this manner. I have a feeling that this is what is going on with my husband. He’s passively resisting the “outside” controls, pretty much as a matter of lifelong habit. That’s why I want to re-organize his thinking so that he is the captain of the ship. I’ve noticed that in the areas where he regards himself as being in charge, he does not skirt the rules even a tiny fraction of a hair.
So I guess I just answered my own question. Now the new question is: how do I set up the situation so that he has to be in charge of his own food, when I am the one who does all the shopping and all the cooking and all the meal-planning? Hmm.
Straight-up Norman Rockwell scene at my folks’ place. Just waiting on the sweet potato casserole now.
Well hey there psychic twin!! This is exactly what I was planning on serving today myself!Yaaaay meatballs! Yaaaay psychic twin-ness!
If you have any spare, send them my way.. I have a feeling my chief taste tester may well have already ploughed through the leftovers!
I had a late client last night. When I got upstairs to go to bed, my husband was already sacked-out. He woke up barely enough to mumble a few words of love and then all he said was, “can i take those meatballs for my lunch? they were good.” And I said he could, and he fell back deeply asleep right away. So yeah. No leftovers here at all. Out of 2 lbs of meat, I literally only got to eat 2 meatballs. I’m guessing that this dish will definitely be making a return appearance quite soon.
Monday Morning Weigh In
Wow, could hardly snatch a moment to post until the afternoon. Meatballs are in the oven, so I can sit for a moment. So the story is, I lost those 4 scary pounds I was so anxious about last week, sliding back down to 134. They really were just a bunch of water, I suppose. Also, I managed it without logging my food or counting my calories. I stuck to the plan I laid out last Monday and it worked fine. Interestingly, one thing I ate more of for some reason was almond butter, but it didn’t gum up the works the way actual nuts seem to do.
So, to recap the primary elements of my current working plan:
- no more than 1/2 cup of unsalted mixed nuts for the whole week. I get a bit more nuts than that because I do usually eat 1 or 2 Rawma bars or Kit’s Organics bars. And as I said, I’m warming up to nut butter lately.
- tons of tea.
- As much IF as I like. I did 4 days last week; would have been 5 but my trainer was messing around with our schedule so I wound up eating a hearty breakfast one day when I otherwise wouldn’t have.
I don’t think I’ll eat a hearty meal on training day this week, though. I don’t think it’s necessary. Because today, I blasted a nice heavy workout on the KBs while fasting. I did multiple sets with the 52.9-lb monster bell and felt like a badass. I didn’t run out of gas at all, although I did get hungry afterward. I might hedge my bet with a Rawma bar, I guess. But I don’t believe a big meal is necessary.
So all in all, it’s turned out to be an awesome Monday. Sweet heavy workout, great weigh-in, had lunch with my sweetie (chicken livers at Nando’s) and bought some more tea. Heck yeah! I only hope the rest of the week can measure up!
Feeling like I fail at this whole weight loss and fitness thing today.
First reason: I had a fantastic morning, and a great workout at the gym. Felt so good about it……and then I had an epic binge this afternoon. Pretty much cancelled out my workout, and then some.
Second reason: I am getting married in 11 days. I havent lost an ounce since July. Inches havent moved since first of September. I am nowhere near where I wanted to be by this time…..and I am really disappointed with myself over it.
I fail. Its really hitting me hard right now :(
Had to reblog to really answer this.
You are putting WAY too much pressure on yourself, sweetie! No wonder you are binging. It is too much all at once.
The bottom line is: you’re getting married. Fat, thin, or in between, you will be in your honey’s arms as a wife at long last, and the stress will be dissolved. The odds are pretty good at this point that you’ll be a bit on the fat side on your wedding day. (I sure as hell was myself.) And you know what? That is completely UNIMPORTANT. Because that day is really not about your thighs. It’s about the love you share with your honey. And you will be a beautiful bride, memorably beautiful, and your husband will get all choked up when he sees you, and everyone will weep at the happiness of the moment and it will be a wonderful day. All these things will happen regardless of what size underwear you are sporting. So let go of that disappointment and negative emotion and prepare yourself to have a sweet, delicious, loving and exquisite wedding day even though you will probably not be thin that day. And, I pray, a long and happy marriage, fat or thin. (I was pretty damn fat for about 16 of my 20 years of marriage so far.)
And also, you are not failing. Okay, maybe you are not succeeding very quickly. I can go that far. But you are not failing as long as you keep on trying, kiddo. I have been at it for six years, okay? And I still have plenty of work to do, honestly. It’s just not a fast thing. I know we see people around here all the time who shed 257 pounds in 9 months or whatever. But in my life, at least, it’s been like, a pound a month. So just ease off the pressure. If you really want to lose weight - which is not at all necessary to be happy, btw - then I know you will do it. But just relax and enjoy your wedding!
All of a Sudden I am a Chatty Cathy
I dunno what’s up with me this week. It’s the aftermath of Halloween and Hurricane Sandy. I’m not in the least bit interested in logging my food or tracking my calories. For a few days, I was just eating ALL THE THINGS. But I sort of calmed down from that the last couple of days. The good news is that I had no difficulty staying Paleo; I don’t keep any of those hyper-palatable temptation carb-bomb things in the house. The bad news is, a lot of nuts. I can tell it was too many nuts from the overall slowdown in my lower colon. Not good. The other bad news is, the sugar-free dark chocolate from Trader Joe’s is really pretty awful. Nothing to be done about it… it’s just plain mediocre.
I think that in January, when I transition to maintenance completely, my husband and I will do a super-strict Whole30 for at least a month, maybe more. The strictness will be soothing for me mentally and it will be a good thing for him too. Maybe it will be the tool that helps him to stop being such a fiend for sweetness and maybe learn to eat some vegetables. I don’t know why he doesn’t eat them. I mean, I cook them every week, all different types, and they are always available. And I say, “would you like some bacon brussels sprouts with your quiche, honey,” or “would you like some kuri squash with your chili,” and he says, “maybe I’ll have some later, thanks.” And then he doesn’t. He’s a grown-ass man. I can’t make him eat. But it freaks me out. He eats Paleo, sure. But it’s a cheat-ridden, weak sort of Paleo, and as a consequence, it’s not giving him the benefits to the full degree that we know is possible.
I’ll try to get back to logging and tracking properly on Monday. Or, y’know, maybe I won’t. I just don’t know. Mentally I am sort of all over the place. I’ve been doing it so long and I am a bit sick of it, I can’t lie. But gaining weight scares me. How can I let go of this rigid control and yet keep what I’ve earned? I just don’t know.
Flashback Friday. Would’ve done Fanny Friday but was disorganized emerging from the shower. Anyway… this is me and my sweetie, some time in 2008. As you can see, we both had a good deal of work to do. What a spectacularly unflattering photo. Why do I even have this damn thing on my computer?!
Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…….and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.
Andrea Gibson (via onthewaytocassadaga)
That or a unicorn, with each passing day the probability of the latter happening, over the former, increases exponentially.
(via regainingmymoxy)
This quote sort of freaks me out a bit. It just seems like this person is putting an awful lot of pressure on this imaginary, as-yet-to-be-found relationship.
“…the place they can put everything they know they need to survive…”
I mean, that’s not asking a lot, is it? She just wants to be The Best Person Ever. The person who Is Loved The Most and is Perfectly Trusted and Perfectly Trustworthy. She actually wants to be the repository of her loved one’s every single secret! This seems a bit unrealistic to me. Even after 20 years, man, I still don’t tell my husband every secret. And I am not perfectly trustworthy and neither is he, really. Unless what you mean is that I can definitely trust him to make a really inappropriate joke at least once a day. (Hi, honey. I love you!)
And I don’t put everything I know I need to survive into my sweetie, either. I keep the innermost kernel of that stuff inside of ME. Where it belongs. He’s my husband, not a magical dragon with rainbow wings who makes obstacles disappear. He can’t do it for me. It’s my life and I have to live it myself. So my survival stuff? It stays inside of me.
Also, there’s something a bit creepy about the writer’s whole attitude toward this future relationship. It’s sort of vampiric. She wants to suck all this love and devotion and trust out of the other person; she wants them to depend on her emotionally to an extreme degree. But she doesn’t say that she wants to expose her deepest heart to the other person, or that she wants to depend on them to an extreme degree. She imagines that she could have a relationship where it’s super-intense and deep but she still gets to protect herself from it somehow. And that can’t happen, because that intense energy can only flow when it’s going both ways. If you are not equally open, it won’t flow. It’ll be blocked and your relationship will stay shallow.
So, final analysis? The writer seems to have a sadly unrealistic and perhaps even unhealthy idea of what a deeply loving relationship should be like. Moxy, I would actually prefer that you become a unicorn, rather than becoming whatever this poor person has in mind.
A Peek into my Life
My husband just started on Tumblr! He’s at nbperp. Drop him some love!
Monday Morning Weigh In
This weekend we had our annual BBQ and we were also celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. We had a TON of food, and I ate a lot and really enjoyed myself. I made a really great sweet potato salad with my own homemade mayonnaise. I made the mayonnaise with macadamia oil so it would have a sweeter, more delicate flavor. It was very good. And I made a boss-level fruit salad with fresh pineapple, watermelon, blueberries and fresh coconut shavings, and a really nice green salad with spinach, arugula, avocado, cucumber, tomato, and marcona almonds; I dressed it with EVOO and fresh lemon juice. So good. And then there were taro chips, and donut peaches, and some sugar-free chocolate from Wockenfuss. So there was quite a lot of eating. I stayed 100% on my Paleo groove, but there was a LOT of eating. (Okay, the taro chips have canola oil, I confess.)
So I was not especially optimistic about my weigh-in this morning. SURPRISE!!! I lost a whole pound, down to 134. What can I say about that except, thank you Bikram!
Needless to say, I hauled my ass right back to Bikram today. It was even more hot and sweaty than last time, because this bitch would not even turn on the damn fans. GOD but it was sweaty. Rivers of sweat just running down my arms and legs. Amazing. I was sort of woozy afterward. Had to walk really slowly back to my car, that’s for sure. It was just as nutty as last time. Fun stuff!
Ate the last of that salad for my lunch today, topped with some leftover taco meat. So full now. Heck yeah.
Next week, my husband and I will be going to Las Vegas to more thoroughly celebrate our massive achievement of 20 years of marital harmony. Already planning out my meals and exercise schedule, LOL so anal-retentive. I actually picked the casino, the Cosmopolitan, because they have yoga classes at the health club in the hotel, so I don’t need to miss yoga. I am such an addict.
@Moxy… The Love Question
How can you love others if you don’t know how to love yourself?
Well, I think it’s sort of the other way around for many people. It’s hard to love yourself, after all, isn’t it? Yet it’s pretty easy to love other people. It’s almost distressingly easy, really. People are so interesting, and then when you get to really inspecting them they are so funny and kind and gentle or fierce, all working on their own journeys … and soon you just love them. So maybe just work on loving other people for a while. That can be a bit scary at first, I guess. It’s sort of my hobby at this point; I’ve always made a special point whenever I meet a person to try to see whatever is really beautiful in them. So, Moxy, for example, you have terrific legs and a lovely smile, and your eyes have a twinkle in them that is so fun. Also you’re funny and tender and you like cats. You’re strong and such a hard worker. I love you already and I have not even had a chance to meet you yet. (Usually there is a LOT of good stuff to find in any person. However, I do have one relative where literally all I could find was that he had movie-star quality eyelashes. Every other aspect of his physique and personality was quite repellent.) So if loving people is hard or scary, just work on that for a while. Let yourself open up to loving your co-workers, the person who makes your coffee, your marvelous trainers and so forth. Not expecting anything, just opening up to the feeling. Loving people is a sweet feeling and also when you allow this to happen you will become more radiant. I know it sounds super-cheesy but it’s true.
The next step is this: just turn your attention to yourself and see yourself as just another person. All people are pretty lovable… and you are just part of that group. You are part of all people; there is nothing that sets you apart from everyone else at all. Tell yourself firmly and frequently that you deserve to be treated at least as well as your friends and coworkers. Don’t say things to yourself that you would not say to a dear friend. Treat yourself as if you were a dear friend. Just crack open your heart a smidgeon more so you can wedge yourself right in there.
That’s what I got. Love all people as best you can, and then include yourself in the same category as all people: admit to yourself that you are deserving of love unconditionally. Even if you feel fat, even if you are cranky, even if you ate carbs or skipped spin class, even if… whatever. The love you give yourself should be like a mother’s love: always there no matter how stupidly you behaved.
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