The bad news about artichokes is that it turns out they take about 35 minutes to steam, which I was not aware of. The good news is, it turns out my daughter really likes them. She gnawed her way happily through a whole one and then halfway through another one, until she polished off all the dipping sauce. We lingered at the table together more than an hour, laughing and enjoying ourselves. Artichokes: the vegetable that turns a mere meal into a dinner party.
I based this recipe on some chips from Raw & Radiant Foods at Mom’s Organic Market. I never even actually tried those chips because they had sugar in them. But the idea was so intriguing that I just gave it a shot anyway.
I realize that chocolate kale sounds really, really gross. But the kale flavor recedes and seems to support the rich, slightly bitter flavor of the chocolate, while the sweetener and the coconut just lift the whole thing to the next level of crunchy snacking goodness. Also, kale and chocolate are both superfoods, right? I mean, I should really call these “Superfood Snack Chips.”
Also, it’s worth mentioning for the vegans out there that the cashew butter and coconut milk in this recipe are great ways to shoe-horn a nice big wad of fat into the vegan meal. Keep your brain and your gonads happy with tasty fat, yo. If I were a vegan, I’d probably put twice the fats into this recipe just on principle.
2 large bunches lancinato kale
4 spoonfuls cashew butter
¼ cup of coconut milk
2 spoonfuls cocoa powder
4 packets stevia powder
pinch of salt
a bit of water
about 1 c. dried shredded unsweetened coconut or more if you like
Wash the kale and remove most of the ribs. Don’t bother cutting up the kale any further!
Mix together everything else except the coconut and the water in the largest bowl you own. You could probably use fresh coconut here but I haven’t done that just yet. Anyway, mix the stuff together and stir well, smushing out the lumps of stuck-together cocoa powder. When it’s pretty smooth, add in a bit of water at a time, mixing well, so the sauce thins out a bit until it’s about like the sauce from a curry, thick but not a paste anymore.
Then toss in your kale leaves and roll them about in the sauce and turn and smush them as much as you need to for all the surfaces to be coated with sauce. Rub the leaves along the inner surface of the bowl so you pick up every last drop you can get. Then, slowly sprinkle the coconut over the kale and toss so that all the kale gets some coconut stuck on it. Add more coconut if you like. No guilt! It’s so good for you!
Then take leaves or wads of the kale and sort of fold or smush it into large clumps and put the clumps into your dehydrator. Dry it overnight at least, or however long it takes until the kale is completely dry and crispy.
Then do your best to save a few pieces of your masterpiece for anyone else.
Note: I realize that stevia is not considered Paleo by some. But since I can’t even seem to eat honey anymore without experiencing lava-face, I’m keeping my stevia, thank you very much. If you don’t want to use stevia, I bet you could use date sugar or coconut sugar.
GOD DAMN IT HOW CAN I LOSE ANY WEIGHT IF I KEEP MAKING THIS SORT OF INSANE DELICIOUSNESS?? Seriously I will be like the damn Hindenburg up in here. This rich, moist, and tender morsel is the Morning Glory Muffin, recipe from Paleo Comfort Foods. It’s fuckin’ comforting all right. Gonna comfort me back into elastic-waisted pants.
Breakfast today: Fried Banana Pudding from Everyday Paleo. Topped with walnuts, chia, raisins, almond butter and of course shredded coconut. Yes, Jeff, it is all organic. Like oatmeal only even yummier. Also a sensational way to use up tired old bananas! A hit with my daughter. Son is still asleep…
Coconut chocolate cookies, recipe from Practical Paleo. Came out quite delicious. My husband did that thing where he took a bite and closed his eyes as he chewed. Oh yeah.
Here are some Sweet Potato Bacon Chive Biscuits. They came AMAZING. The recipe is at PaleOMG. Easy and seriously delicious. A no-leftovers situation.
Girl Scout leader sprang a surprise Election Day bake sale on us… Boo Yah! Make It Paleo chocolate cupcakes! Came out absolutely delicious.
Oh yeah… There it is. Fried Cauliflower Rice with a bit of ground chicken-pork stuff and a couple of fat, juicy umeboshi. The umeboshi are from Eden Organic. They are very good but less fruity and more salty than the ones I used to get at H Mart.
Don’t walk, RUN to your desk and click over to amazon.com and order yourself a copy of Sweet Potato Power. It’s not the most amazing cookbook ever. But it does have 1 perfect recipe in it which is worth paying for. The Sweet Potato Bars.
These bars… the best way I can sell you on these is to say that they actually replicate the experience of eating normal wheat-based baked goods. They’re soft, fluffy, and tender. They’re just really, really delicious. Really good. Did I mention delicious and good? And at about 150 cals apiece, also quite a reasonable part of anyone’s need to enjoy a treat yet stay inside her calorie count. Although after sweating it out with MATT this afternoon, I can pretty much eat whatever the hell I want right now. Yay KB swings FTW.
They are basically made of pureed sweet potato and almond flour and eggs. They have honey in them, but I bet if they were made with purple okinawan potatoes, no honey would be needed. You could add in raw cacao or top them with coconut or almonds. They are going to form a fairly regular part of my kids’ diet going forward, that’s for darn sure. And by “my kids,” I think maybe I just mean “me” here. I need to go to the store and stock up on spuds, man.
The Turkey Burger Cookies recipe from this cookbook is excellent too, as is the Sopa de Batata Doce. But buy it right now just for the bar recipe. You can thank me later, when you finish wiping the crumbs from your lips. Those of you who use MFP, I already entered those foods into the database for your pleasure!
There is no pic because the bars are all gone.
For op-bamf — if you learn to make these little babies, you can have tacos or breakfast burritos or maybe a nice wrap with some hummus and whatnot, any time you want it.
This recipe is basically straight from Paleo Comfort Foods. It originally called for:
1/4 c coconut flour plus a bit more for texture
8 egg whites, or I use 2 c. liquid egg white from a carton.
1/4 tsp baking powder
a wee bit of water if needed
coconut oil for the skillet
Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. If you use real egg whites, you may need to add some water to make the mix thin enough; if you use whites from a carton like me, you’ll need to add about another tablespoon of coconut flour. The mix should be fairly thin because of the way you cook it. It should have enough body that you aren’t just cooking straight-up egg whites, but it has to be thin enough to swirl easily in the pan.
To make the tortillas, heat a medium-size non-stick skillet to a lowish medium heat. If your skillet is really non-stick, no oil is needed. If it’s a bit old and not as slick anymore, maybe you need some oil in the pan to prevent sticking. Take slightly less than a quarter cup of mix and pour it into the pan. Immediately, swirl the pan to spread the mixture around as thin as it will go, as if you were making a crepe. Do this as fast as you can; the stuff sets up quickly. Then step back and watch a couple minutes of TV until the tortilla starts to lift up around the edges a bit. Take a peek under and if it’s gotten a bit brown or golden, flip it and let the other side cook for a while. Easy-peasy.
Remove the finished tortilla to a plate! Repeat with the remaining batter.
This recipe should make 10 to 12 tortillas, depending on the size of your pan/generosity of your portions. The tortillas did not stick together while resting after cooking, and they warmed up fine in the toaster the next day. Again, because they are egg-based, please store them in the fridge.
If, after cooking a couple tortillas, you decide you would like them to be thicker/fatter, then add another T of coconut flour to the mix.
Man, I’m super-bad at photography in general and this webcam is really awful too. If only killfatme was here to take one his food-porn-magazine-worthy shots of this awesomeness. But there it is! The roasted purple Okinawan sweet potato. As you can see, it’s really purple, a deep dark lovely color. And it’s really sweet too. Like, I would love to use it to make paleo treats of some sort, like maybe pancakes or muffins or sweet potato casserole or pie. You would not need to add any sweetener at all. My son thought it was super-tasty, and of course I do too. I only bought six of them… SAD PANDA… thank goodness I’m heading back to Philly in a few weeks. Stock up then!
Aw yeah, chilling in Philly with my mom & dad and my kids. Dear husband had some kind of thing blow up at work so he couldn’t get away this time. We went to the Liberty Bell and did touristy stuff, and today we stopped into the American Jewish Museum to check out our homies, and then we had an epic meal of dim sum at Joy Tchin Lau in Chinatown. (That is what Jews do… eat Chinese food… everybody knows that. Just ask cookingcaveman if you don’t believe me. Now that I’m more of a Buddhist, well, that certainly does not mean I want LESS Chinese food.) I had those goofy little spare-rib chunks, and some sort of curried squid things, my fave tripe of course, plus eggplant stuffed with shrimp, and of course some deliciously garlicky Chinese broccoli. However I did succumb to some less-than-optimal eating when the turnip cake arrived. SORRY I’M NOT SORRY. It was delicious. Oh and there were some insanely tasty clams too. Ran out of room, had to say no to chicken feet and jellyfish, damn it.
Pretty sure this guy’s not batting for my team. But I think he’s made of awesomesauce anyway. Because he’s all chunky and covered with hair and actually just looks like a man. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the super-cut, oiled-up Ken dolls all over Tumblr these days with the highly-defined adonis-belt/eight-pack/serratus shreds and whatnot. That’s some sexy stuff. But I love a natural, ordinary-looking guy too. And I have to say it, since apparently no one else will: I like a hairy man. The hairier the better, really. Sure, it doesn’t look quite as aesthetic as a smooth man. But it feels so nice. Like the way a big dog does, or a teddy bear, only this is the best teddy bear in the whole world. I appreciate a smooth man with my eyes, but I appreciate a hairy man with the whole surface of my skin.
So thick hairy guys of the world, shine on! I love what you’re dishing out!
Page 1 of 3