And then my faith in the magic was restored! 3 lbs down in one week, back to 135. Shout out to everybody who told me I should probably drink more water. I did exactly that and also was super-meticulous about staying under my carb allotment. And by super-meticulous, I mean that actually, I went over on one day, by 20 grams. LOL. But it wasn’t yesterday so whatever! This week of success was pretty much brought to you by homemade beef jerky. Heck yeah. Feeling very happy about this, especially since my shark week is due to start pretty much right now.
But now this happy weight loss gives me a chance to talk about something I feel a bit funny about. Remember I was talking about how we might feel ambivalent about some element of the process? Well, I knew I had lost weight when I looked in the mirror this morning. I could see several signs: my shoulders looked really rocky and square; the edge of my obliques was faintly visible along my waist. And on my face, right by my mouth, my marionette lines were visibly deeper.
As I lose weight, I can see all the lines on my face deepening rapidly, but especially the lines right by my mouth. Fat was what kept those things plumped up, and as I slowly drain my fat away, the lines are appearing. When I was a good bit fatter, I looked young. But as I get to be thin, I look my age. I am really ambivalent about this. I don’t know how I feel about looking older, especially so fast. Intellectually I can accept that this is a normal part of my life’s journey. But it’s still pretty tough to realize that I may be thin or flexible or muscular, but I’ll never really be young again, no matter how I might feel inside.
And in possibly-related news, my first planned cheat meal in 8 months is scheduled for this Wednesday! I am taking my daughter out for Dim Sum to celebrate her extremely successful school year. See how that ambivalent-self-sabotage thing sneaks up on you? I must turn my mind to thinking how to make this week a success in spite of the carb attack which is coming.
I cheated a wee bit! I went and had Thai food with my friend yesterday, and among the many excellent dishes we had Som Tum, papaya salad. And as doingtheneedful is no doubt aware, that dish contains peanuts. And I forgot to ask for them to be on the side… and I ate them anyway. And honestly they were quite tasty. I love that Som Tum so much.
Also, when I was making the bacon-chocolate-chip cookies, although I didn’t eat any cookies myself, I did taste the batter a few times. It was delicious. But now I have pimples from that miniscule amount of maple syrup! Unbelievable! But the evidence is plain on my face: pimples by my nose, on my upper lip, and a big one on the chin like a damn button to turn my head on. Shark week arrives within 3 or 4 days and I don’t know when I will eat sugar ever again. The evidence against it is just too obvious to ignore. I understand now that any time I choose to eat even a tiny pinch of sugar, I will have a pimple on my face every day for the next week. And that’s just what it is doing to my skin. I don’t even know what it might be doing to the rest of me! Well, so much for sugar. Adios, Shalom, Good-bye to you.
I will see about trying out a little dairy next just for kicks. I gotta give my face a couple weeks to settle down first, I guess. Then maybe try some butter. I miss butter!